Life/Love after Abuse

If you have ever given your love to someone and they took it for granted, used it and abused it; many times one will be afraid to love and live again. The pain you endured seems to suck whatever life you had in you out; and leaves you an empty shell needing to be refilled.

When a person has been abused by an intimate partner, a family member that person will walk around with the scars the abuse leaves. Many times a person walks around in a fog of despair, shame, and guilt. The abuse has taken something from them that should be precious to everyone-the ability to live and love (not just loving others but learning to love ourselves.) I have heard countless women say, "How could I have let this happen to me?" I have heard these words countless times and we have to realize that it wasn't our fault. We believed that we would never be hurt by another person, especially a person that we love. I was one such women. I never thought that I would be a woman who would endure the torrents of abuse and the after effects that abuse victims go through when they muster up the courage to leave.

Living in the pits of shame, despair (deep depression) living with the hurt, pain, bitterness, and rejection a choice will have to be made by the victim. The choice to live a better life than living in the existence of the past while learning to not only love yourself but come to a place where you decide to live a better life or stay in the cycle of abuse even after you've physically left the relationship.



There is life after abuse.What another person did to you is not your final destination, it is not your landing pad to plant your feet; but it can a launching pad to embark upon a journey of healing and wholeness; that in the end you can share your triumphs, your struggles with others so they may gather strength from your story to embark and continue on their healing and wholeness journey. Will I say that the journey will be easy? Not by any means. In all honesty it will be long, tedious, and difficult. You will cry, scream, become angry, and want to quite. But with a made up mind that you want to live, you want to heal, you want to become whole, you want to love again (I mean love yourself), you want to feel joy and happiness you have a great chance of healing. This is just the beginning of a journey that will be filled with many, many emotions. But when it's all said and done you (the one who has been abused) will be able to look at yourself in the mirror see a remarkable person who has been through hell, (a person who another person tried to break, a person who another person tried to extinguish the flame of greatness in,) but came out stronger. You who were once broken has now been healed and made whole.

Yes there is life and love after abuse. As I write this blog post I smile. Why? Because God saw to it that I became whole as He healed me. I smile because after the abuse I endured I was able to love again.. I learned to not just like myself; but I truly love myself; and because of that I am able to share me (through my story) with others. Yes there is life and love after abuse. Blessings!!!! (Dawn "Lady D" Evans (c) 6/2016)